A Sorry and (Part One Of) A Story

So, you may have noticed that it's been a while since I've written here...I have lots of reasons, like massive layoffs at work (I was spared, but now have more responsibility), illness, travel and writer's block that probably happened as a result of all of those things. It also happens that I've been a bit remiss in responding to a couple of questions, which sucks because I really like it when you ask me stuff. Please consider this my make-up post, an attempt at an apology for having stayed away too long, and I will now finally give you the attention you deserve.

Q: Do you have any idea where to find a pair of retro lacey gloves? I have this killer outfit, and I *need* gloves to finish the look. --from "Elizabeth"

A: One of the best sites I've found for gloves is GreatGlovesOnline.com. Yes, they have lacey gloves, but they also have dyeables, opera length, fishnet, leather, crochet, silk and pearl gloves, plus lots more. No matter what your budget is, you should be able to find at least one thing here that will work. They also have a million (or so) colors. I've ordered from them, and have been quite happy. And no, they're not paying me to recommend them! You can also take a trip back in time and read my post in June 2008 about gloves here.

Q: I was wondering if, one of these days, you might expound on your own entry into tight-lacing, perhaps including some of the mistakes you made along the way and how you got started? You mentioned false starts - were they a poor choice in the corset you began with? I'm not planning to make a go of it until the summer is over - it's already in the 90s here, so I'm sure it's going to be a hot one. I would really enjoy seeing someone else's journey as they entered this world. --from a private email

A: I remember very well when I announced to my man that I was going to start tight-lacing. I was wearing a backless dress, figuring that my time in them was limited if I'd soon be wearing a corset 24/7, and we were out to a very nice dinner. I swear he almost choked, but I'm pretty sure it was from excitement. Not long after that, we went down to our favorite fetish shop in Chelsea, and I tried on some styles. I had already been in a few, but never with the idea that I would actually wear one out of the dressing room, and it is a totally different mindset. This time, I paid more attention to what kind of shape I wanted--did I like a gentle curve, or a sharp wasp waist? If I was planning to wear it every day, did I really want one with the most exotic colors that would make it difficult to wear under light-colored clothing? Plus, overbusts were out of the picture, since underbusts are best suited to tightlacing, as I had read. I also had to make my tightlacing intentions clear to the salesperson, since not every corset is designed to withstand hours and hours of wear, day after day. (It should be mentioned that there is a great section on tightlacing in William and Gloria Brame's book, Different Loving. Even if you're not interested in corsets, it's a must-read if you want to learn more about the psychology of BDSM in its various forms.)

I decided on a blush-pink corset by a man named Shane Aaron, who used to work at the shop but had since relocated to Las Vegas and was filling custom orders from his studio there. I fell in love with a very light, silky fabric, had my measurements taken, and off went my order. A couple of months later, my corset arrived, and I was elated. I wore it out of the shop, my man's hand in mine, very proud. But then a few days later, the fabric appeared to be thinning. I brought it back to the shop, and it turned out I had confirmed Shane's fear that the corset material was too light for tightlacing. It couldn't stand 23 hours of wear, and couldn't hold up to the friction caused by rubbing against my clothes. The corset was sent back, and in a couple of months I had the exact same model in a more durable pink fabric.

For the first few weeks, I slept in my corset, as I understood this to be the true definition of tightlacing and if I was going to tightlace, then by God I was really going to do it. Eventually, though, I questioned whether sleeping in the corset was really making much of an impact on my shape, and I felt my skin needed some time to breathe. In addition, I thought it might also be good for the corset to rest. Even though the fabric was more durable than what the first corset was made of, it was still fairly light, and I reasoned that rolling around in bed probably wasn't good for the garment. Ultimately I think that sleeping in the corset helped me get used to wearing it, but then the need for that passed, and I felt quite comfortable while laced. (Rather, let's say reasonably comfortable. I don't care what anyone says. Corsets are not 'comfortable' in the strictest sense of the word, no matter how long you've been wearing them.)

More or less, that was Season One. The weather got too warm, and I sweated through the corset so I had to take a break. The perspiration was neither good for my skin or for the corset, as over time, sweat will basically eat the fabric, especially material that is on the delicate side. Which led to my decision for Season Two's corset, but that is another post.

My bed of nails

I am hopelessly devoted to S., my manicurist, because of her amazing talent and charm. She's the best, and everyone in my neighborhood knows it, as is evident by the women who will wait for hours to see her, refusing to see any other manicurist at her salon who happens to be available. For a long time, I was afraid of nail extensions because I didn't want deal with them breaking, chipping, splitting--I refused to be someone who lived in constant fear of whining about broken nails. But with S., I have suffered a broken nail only once over the course of three years, and we're talking three years of typing, bulb-planting, cooking, baking, dishwashing, knitting, cleaning, sewing and general clumsiness. So, it's been with surprise that over the past few weeks my nails seem to be having a hard time staying put.

I saw S. this week, and immediately I knew something was wrong. As she was preparing to do the fill, she brought my hands up close to her face and said, "Oh, that's not good." Worse words could have come only from my tattoo artist. She explained that I had a weak nail bed. What? Me, a weak nail bed?

She went on to explain that over time, the chemicals in acrylic nails can weaken the natural nail upon which the acrylic nails are set, making them thin as paper. When that happens, the acrylic has a harder time adhering to the nail, and the nail cannot support the weight of the acrylic, which is relatively heavy. Every time water gets around my nails, like when I wash my hands, the water gets in the space between the acrylic and the actual nail where the nail can't hold on to the acrylic. That little bit of water takes its own sweet time to dry, meanwhile effectively rotting my nail. There doesn't appear to be any infection or anything like that, but the nail ceases to be anything more substantial than a Kleenex.

No part of that sounds sexy to me, so I asked her what I should do. S. told me that most of the white girls she works with have this problem with acrylic, and in fact I am her only white client who has managed to have long acrylic nails for such a long time. Her other white clients use a silk wrap, which is much lighter, though more time-consuming to apply and slightly less durable. She says my nails are still not so weak that I have to resort exclusively to the silk wrap route, but that keeping the nails shorter will do a lot to help ease the weight and pressure of the acrylic on my natural nail.

I tell this as a tale of caution. Long nails are beautiful, but long and unkempt nails are not; you have to find the middle ground that's right for you. Be careful not to go overboard, because you can't keep it up forever. My man is not happy at all that my talons are trimmed, but as I tell him almost every day, he's just been spoiled for the last few years.

Me too.

Favorite Things Roundup: January 2009

1. Corset liners by Amy Crowder (Wasp Creations)

Any regular tightlacer knows how important corset liners are. They're often overlooked, partially because they're completely unglamorous and not meant to be seen, but they can't be ignored. Corset liners help protect your skin against chafing and absorb some of your perspiration and natural body oils that can damage the corset itself and shorten its lifespan. (And there's no getting around the fact that you do have to fork over the dough for specialized corset liners, as anyone who has ever tried to use a thin tank top as a corset liner will tell you.) However, important though they are, I have found exactly one corset liner that I like, made by Amy Crowder at Wasp Creations. For a while, I only had one of her corset liners and wore it constantly, and went into denial when it eventually failed to serve its purpose. So you can imagine my joy when my guy put two of the liners in my Christmas stocking!

Like many other corset liners, hers are custom-made with your measurements, but my favorite thing about them is that they are long. Some corset liners are cut to cover just the section of skin under your corset, but this isn't enough. Over the course of a day, corset liners have a tendency to move around a little, inching their way up to your waistline, and that sucks. Amy's don't do that because there is length to spare, but also because of the ribbing she puts around the top and bottom of her liners which help them stay put. She also adds some red stitching to the side of the corset that is meant to be worn on the inside touching your skin. Really, it doesn't get easier than that. (For the record, her corsets are pretty incredible too, and among my favorites.)


2. Pin curls

I won't claim to have mastered them yet, but I've certainly improved with the help of my pin curl book and duckbill clips. One of the secrets is to have the patience to wind hair in appropriately small sections; it's tempting to take too much hair for one curl. The other secret is the aforementioned duckbill clip. Bobby pins make unsightly creases in the curls, but duckbills lie flat across your hair. Plus, they're easier to remove than bobby pins, since they're bigger. The look that comes out with proper pin curling is one that looks natural and holds better than any set of rollers I've ever used, be they foam, plastic or velcro hot rollers. Yes, it's a bit of extra work, but trust me--it's worth it!

3. Aretha Franklin's hat

I may be going out on a limb with this one, but I have to say I liked it. She's gotten some teasing about it, but on the flip side there has been a rush of orders to the milliner who made it. I think it was at once both bold yet appropriate for the occassion. Opting for a blue-grey color was subdued enough for the inauguration, and I love that the hat was not much more than a pillbox with an oversized bow, and a border of rhinestones to catch the afternoon sun. Being Aretha Franklin, she could have shown up wearing a giant-brimmed rainbow job teeming with feathers and pulled it off, because after all, the inauguration was a joyful event well worth celebrating. She toned it down from what she might usually wear onstage, but stayed true to herself and kept some of her bravado in style, all while evoking the big-hat style found in many black congregations--for this was a holy occassion in many ways. And may I say that standing on the Mall listening to her sing, I felt there could be no compromising of her style regardless of her clothing.

4. Puppy Bowl

Okay, I know it's not at all related to pin-ups, and technically it takes place in February this year, but Puppy Bowl has to be added to this list. Watching puppies roll around and play in a playpen tricked out like a football stadium is so much more enjoyable to me than football. And then they have the kitty half-time show, and the parrot singing the National Anthem to open the whole thing, and I'm gone. As in, I'm trying to convince my man that we need to adopt more puppies and kittens immediately. Watching it makes me happy, which is more than I can say for most things on TV.

A Pretty Pauper

Unless you've been living under a rock this week, you've heard about the continuing devastation in the financial markets. Since I work at a bank, this week has been particularly difficult. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I still have a job, but as someone whose father was frequently between jobs, I have a great deal of sympathy for the vast numbers of people who have found themselves unemployed. There is no question that we are living in difficult times.

However, when you're down, it's important to try to keep yourself out of a funk. If you're going to find another job you have to project an image of confidence and strength. Even if you have to fake it at first, you might find that paying a little special attention to your appearance will have you on the road to the type of positive thinking that can get results. You might be asking yourself, "How do I do that on a budget?" Well, I've been on a budget all my life, so I've learned a thing or two about beauty on the cheap. Here are some of my favorite tips, and you should also check out my DIY post, which is also about budget-friendly style. Please feel free to share your tips--I'd like to do many more posts on budget beauty!

1. Double up in the shower

Until recently, I would only use shower gel/lotion/whatever as a backup for shaving cream when I was extremely desperate. Shower gel never got foamy enough, and I always felt as though I was shaving bare legs, which hurt. But, as I said, times are tough, so when I was out of both shaving cream and shower gel at the same time I decided to go the double-duty route and tried Aveeno Positively Smooth Shower & Shave Cream. It works well, and I know I saved money buying one thing as opposed to buying two different products. But, the best part came when my man suggested I use his shaving brush to mix up a lather in the palm of my hand. Using a quarter-sized amount, the brush whips up enough soapiness for all my shaving. I used to use that much just to do one leg, so not only did I save money in the first place but I'm also extending the life of the product. The shaving brush trick would probably work wonders with just about any shower gel, so no matter what you've got in your shower right now, it's worth a shot.

2. Maintain your smile

You could have radiant skin, a sharp figure and a gorgeous head of hair, but if your teeth are crooked and rotting, then you might as well forget the rest. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there are no Vargas or Elvgren pinups with sub-par smiles. I know quite well that dental procedures can be costly, and if you're one of the growing numbers of people without health insurance, then it might not even be an option. The best thing to do is take care of what you've got, and minimize damage which will cost you later. Floss your teeth every day; I mean it. I know you're tired from being so pretty all day, but you are not allowed to be lazy and go to bed without brushing your teeth. People (read: my man) make fun of me because I still wear my retainers to bed a few times a week, but I have seen too many veterans of braces who now have crooked teeth as adults. I will never listen to them--and not have to pay to have my teeth realigned.
And while you're at it, use that smile! It will make you feel better, and just might inspire others to do the same.

3. Use palettes

When you've run out of your old stuff and it's time for new makeup, look for palettes and sets. Not only do they save space in your makeup bag, they save money in your wallet. Check out the combination sets available online at sephora.com--many of them are all you need for eyes, face and lips. Those of you who have been reading here for a while should know that my favorite brand of cosmetics is Besame, and it should come as no surprise that my favorite product of theirs (ok, it's tied with the red velvet lipstick is their Vanity Case. It (and my lipstick) is all I use, every day, plus a liquid liner and mascara which doesn't set me back too much. However, they have ignored my plea to keep the Vanity Case and it is now discontinued; they claim they have something else coming, but until I see it I'm not convinced it's better. Until October 31, Besame is having a close-out sale of what's left, and selling each case for only $12. They used to be $90. I don't know about you, but I'm stocking up.

4. Minimize your hair products

I'm a hair product junkie. Even though I know better, I fall for every hair ad I see, and honestly believe that (product name here) is the thing that will give me soft and defined curls, smooth flyaways, add shine, save the whales, whatever. You may know about my man's policy for shoes, and the same holds true for hair products. As far as I'm concerned, there are only three things you absolutely need: a decent hair gel or mousse, decent hairspray, and something for shine. I like Fructis Curl Scrunch Gel, Sebastian Shaper Plus Hair Spray, and MOP Styling Tonic. If you're after straight hair, I like Bumble and bumble Straight. It's a little pricey, but it lasts a while and it beats buying ten other things that don't work.
As far as shampoo and conditioner goes--I've never been a major devotee to any particular product, though I do really like the Neutrogena Triple Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner. Beyond that, try not washing your hair every day. My hair is actually easier to manage when it's a little dirty, and it's easier on my color to wash it only every other day. And, you'll use less of the product, ultimately saving money for the things that really matter--like shoes.

Sweating out the dog days

It could start cooling down any time now, and I would be happy for it. I don't know about you all, but it's really cramping my pinup style. I don't even bother wearing rollers any more, because my hair frizzes out the second I step outside. And I can't wear corsets in the heat, so I'm not cutting the figure I want. I can't wear powder, because it clogs my pores when combined with massive perspiration. I adore winter coats, which are useless right now.

What's truly dangerous is how the sun threatens my complexion. One man the other day yelled at me from across the train platform, "You're pasty white! You look sick! Go get some sun, you don't look healthy!" I replied, "I am healthy! I don't have melanoma!" To which he said, "Healthy my ass! You look sick!" All this while the guy is smoking a cigarette, digging through trash and grasping a bag of potato chips. But, in an effort to be a lady, I decided not to further exacerbate the situation. Although, it should also be noted that the heat makes me quite cranky. I consider it a small miracle that anyone bothers to try speaking with me when it's over 85 degrees.

I do what I can to make up for the pinup elements that suffer in heat. I've been experimenting with new ways to put up my hair, I work the pencil skirts and I still sport the red lipstick, unless it's likely to melt down my chin. Heels are always in season, and this is perhaps my saving grace.

I wonder if you all are a little tired in the heat as well. I received only one beauty tip in response to my previous post, a gift from the lovely Rapunzel for which I am very grateful. I will leave you now with her insider tip, and the hope that the heat is breaking, wherever you are.

****

Darn! I knew there was something else I wanted to do in NYC this past weekend! *pout* The Burlesque will have to wait for another time..sigh..

As far as beauty tips, the one day I got to be a pin-up gal I had lots of help from this fabulous lady and her staff:

http://www.myspace.com/do_gal

She made me look gorgeous with liberal use of hairspray, bobby pins, and one perfectly-placed hair net. All day I found myself taking a peek in the mirror, and at my daughters, inquring why we couldn't look like that *every day*? I continue to ask myself that question..sigh...

I look forward to tips & tricks from you & your wise readers.

On Cosmetics and Skincare Products

You've probably heard many times about how your face is like an artist's blank canvas, and really it's true. Despite their talent, Hedy Lamarr, Clara Bow and Lana Turner might not have gotten far if they hadn't put their best face forward. A well-done face is arguably the most important part of being a pinup, and so without further ado, these are a few of my favorite things.

(Disclaimer. I am not getting paid to recommend any products or any company. If that ever changes, you'll know about it, but for now, you're going to have to trust me that my check is NOT in the mail. Though by this point it should be.)

Skincare

Healthy skin is the base for any well made-up face, and it's also key to a sense of confidence--which, as anyone will tell you, is a major factor in sex appeal (not to mention general happiness). I have not been blessed with naturally beautiful skin--mine is dry, extremely fair, burns easily, breaks out easily--but my best friend in getting it into shape has been Mario Badescu. At first the number of products they have may be intimidating, but the staff is very knowledgeable and helpful both in person and on the phone. The first time I looked I thought Mario Badescu was terribly expensive, but compare their cost to what you'll find in drugstores and at department store makeup counters, and you'll find that ounce for ounce, Mario Badescu is almost always the best deal. Not only do Mario Badescu products actually work, but they're also never tested on animals.

Even so, possibly the best thing you can do for your skin is to stay out of the sun. You should also quit smoking.

Cosmetics

My favorite lipstick comes from Besame Cosmetics. The thing that sets their lipstick apart is the richness of the color and the smoothness. Their cherry red lipstick looks good on pretty much anyone looking for a knockout red, and the red velvet shade is subtle enough for the office but still alluring. Their eyeshadows are also a favorite. I particularly love Besame's vanity case, which is basically an entire makeup kit in one gold compact for only $75--you won't need anything else. However, for some unknown reason, the vanity cases have been discontinued and the last ones can only be bought online. Customer service tells me they're coming up with something similar in time for the holidays, though I've yet to see it.

In other odds and ends, I like the play sticks by Benefit Cosmetics as my foundation, which go from a lovely cream-to-powder finish. Translucent powder is essential to the matte look of a classic glamour girl, and I recommend Clinique in this case. A generous package of 1.2 ounces for $18.50 also gives you a fresh brush. I'm not a particular devotee of any mascara, but my black liquid eyeliner comes from Sephora. It stays put and it's only $10, rivalling most drugstore eyeliners which don't hold nearly as well. Finally, all good things must come to an end, and for that Sephora also makes a simple, inexpensive and remarkably quick eye makeup remover.

Techniques are an entirely different post, but in the meantime, take a look at some of my links. I also recommend Dita Von Teese's book, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese/Fetish and the Art of the Teese. She breaks everything down decade by decade, so whether you want Clara Bow or Betty Grable, you're set.